Little Drummer Boy.....Are You KIDDING Me???

Coming home from work the other night, I was listening to Christmas Music on KSBJ and Jars of Clay was singing "Little Drummer Boy." I love this song - have since I was a child. I have also loved watching the TV show at Christmas for many years. So, I was singing loudly in the safety of my car (your safety, not mine) and I began paying attention to the words I was singing, while picturing the scenario. Suddenly, I was laughing hysterically and thinking, are you KIDDING me??

I remember when my first niece, Rachelle, was born. I couldn't wait to have a break from my college classes so I could drive home. By the time I was able to get home Rachelle was about three weeks old. I could not wait to get my hands on that baby! When I arrived, there was a "Shhhh...Baby Sleeping" sign on the door. I was certain this did not apply to the Aunt. I could not have been more wrong. Upon entering I was met by my sister who greeted me with a surly look, and immediately instructed me not to breathe or make any sudden movements. She then threatened me with various military tactics if I woke the baby. Again.....are you KIDDING me? I was the Aunt for crying out loud! I had just spent 3, count them, 3 agonizing weeks at college waiting for the time I could come and hold my niece for the first time. And now, here was my sister (or was it Rambo? I couldn't really tell) threatening me with bodily harm if Rachelle was disturbed in any way.

Luckily, I realized that Johnnie couldn't really carry out any of those maneuvers if I was holding a baby! So, of course I went in and scooped that sweet baby out of her crib and spent some bonding time with my niece. The fact that Rachelle is now grown with children of her own, and I'm writing this is a testament to my survival from that treacherous adventure!

All of this flashed through my mind as I was singing the words to Little Drummer Boy. While I still love singing the song, the absurdity of this song's story absolutely cracks me up! Can you picture yourself walking into a sleeping infant's room and performing a drum roll on a snare drum? Of all the instruments out there today, the drum sounds the least like soothing music. Heck, why not throw in some cymbals just to round it out!? I truly believe that my sister would have shot me in the face with a bazooka if I’d have gone into Rachelle's room and started banging on a drum.

The other thing about this song that cracks me up is the response of the animals....."the ox and lamb kept time".......really......so now, let's picture it.....a kid walks into a stable filled with oxen, camels, sheep and other barnyard animals and begins banging on a drum. Do you reeeally think the oxen or lambs would tap their hooves to the beat?

In fairness, the boy DID ask Mary if he could play his drum for the baby….And she NODDED! Are you KIDDING me??? I am certain the poor mother must have been on some sort of cold medicine and suffering from sleep deprivation to have allowed that.

Personally, I think he started banging on his drum and he AND his drum were trampled by the stampeding animals. Then, with all the added commotion, the baby woke up and started crying, at which point Joseph threw him and his mangled drum out into the street, yelling “You’ll never play in this town again!!” I’ll never be able to listen to this song in quite the same way again, and I’m not KIDDING you!